No good deed goes unpunished eh?
June 25, 2007
Last night, I tried to stand up for a friend (Bao), and Bao instead believed Andy’s lies.
Andy brought a boy over yesterday afternoon with 3 duffel bags worth of stuff. I asked Andy who it was, and he said it was Ben, and he was helping to get him out of his boyfriend’s apartment. I asked if Ben was staying over. Andy said yes. I asked if Andy had asked Bao, as Andy was a guest in Bao’s house, and therefore owed him some respect. Andy said he would. But Ben might not stay the night.
I talk to Bao later, and he asks why I am mad that Andy is trying to do a good deed. I explain to Bao that I was only insisting that Andy tell Bao that Ben was staying over. Bao said that Andy said he wasn’t. I told Bao that wasn’t what he told me.
Isn’t being roommates with a lying self serving narcisistic abusive manipulator fun?
Bao thinks I’m out to further my own agenda. What he doesn’t understand is my only agenda is to be treated with respect and live in peace. Simple things like the kitchen being clean so that I can use it. I’m truly okay with Andy sitting unemployed on Bao’s couch until he’s old, wrinkly, and 80 years old. As long as he cleans up after himself. But I guess that is too much to ask. I am now officially the bitchy roommate.
So this morning I’m feeling sad and alone.
Karl’s been busy, and Matt’s been occupied. I haven’t been able to talk to John, because he’s been busy the last two weekends. And I’m still confused about my feelings about him. I care about him, but he told me there is no chance that it will ever really be more than friendship and sex for him. Is this the sort of relationship I can settle for? Or is it truly the relationship for me? I’m terrified of commitment, but like having regular good sex, affection, and conversation.
The full moon is on Saturday, which means I’m sure I’m pms’ing.
