Recapitulation

Over Denny’s breakfast, Karl described how the cave was different now. How there were many teachers, how socialness was not the focus, and how everyone paid for classes equally. This unlocked a well of grief as I thought about what had been missing in my life since I left the cave.

By the time I got home, my resolve was firm, I was going to sign up for classes. I considered signing up for all 3 beginner classes offered, but considering how much I have procrastinated the very basic tool of recap, I decided I would take that one class, and focus on that.

I registered, paid, and showed up early, nervous, and with mixed emotions. Before the class, a lot of emotional baggage was popping up for me, but I managed to remain detached and tried to just keep track of what I was feeling, and what set it off.

Class was led by Jean, who was very thorough and clear in her explanations. Afterwards, I recapped, but it was very hard to stay in the closet, even though I was simply focusing on work anxiety and annoying coworkers. I managed about 10 minutes recapping all together, but I kept finding reasons to stop for a minute. Then a lightbulb went off, and I started recapping the fear and procrastination of recapping.

So I recapped! It feels good to do some real work, however light. ;)

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